No Man's Sky, Video Game, Penis, Phallic, Dick Monster, Alien

No Man’s Sky Is Just FILLED With Phallic Monsters

 

How am I not already playing this game?


 

After yesterday’s Buzzfeed buzzkill, what a joy it was to stumble across this article from Kotaku on my all-penis newsfeed, about newly released video game, No Man’s Sky and the many, many phallic aliens that apparently inhabit it. If you don’t know anything about NMS, the short version is that it’s an exploration/adventure game that is procedurally generated, leaving players with a seemingly endless collection of worlds and creations to interact with and explore.

But, like those monkeys on typewriters eventually creating Shakespeare, endless combinations of things almost always turn into dicks, right? Such is the way with No Man’s Sky:

In an endless universe full of possibilities, there’s one thing you can always count on: dicks. Lots and lots of dicks.

As you know, the creatures in No Man’s Sky are procedurally generated, which means that animals can look like all sorts of things, depending on what the algorithm spits out. There are no outright dicks in the game, but there are specific body parts and head types that look phallic, as many players have been discovering for the last week. Some combinations come together in awful but hilarious ways.

 

The photos collected by author Patricia Hernandez tell the story:

 

There’s even a tumblr of NMS dicks that’s already pretty great just a couple days in. I talked to Bravo Delta about this yesterday (he knows from computers and video games), and despite his naysaying about it, I think I’m gonna check it out this week. I promise to report back on the exact number and awesomeness of every penis monster I find.

 

-t

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Unless you work at a dick factory, literally nothing on this blog is safe for work. So heads up: you’re gonna see penises, butts, general nudity, depictions of sexual interactions, and me saying words like dong, cock, wang, peenor, peen, jizz, bust, bate, fuck, stroke, and ballback, ad nauseam.



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