100 questions about elite companion Tylerthebadwolf

100 Random Questions



It’s Monday. Let’s learn something about each other.


I’m old enough to have been a big big fan of Live Journal when that platform was in its heyday, and one of the things my friends and I used to do was send random question interviews to each other and then repost them with our own answers. It was a great way to learn about people (and to figure out things to make fun of them for later).  I came across one by accident the other day and I figured I’d set it up here in celebration of my site, tylerthebadwolf.com being relaunched last night.  Let’s do it (just FYI – I did half of this last night before falling asleep, and the second half this morning. Just if you spot any inconsistencies):


  1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
    “If their private parts were not sufficiently large to dangle about alluringly, they wore a braquette, a set of simulated genitalia in leather.”
  2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
    Standing lamp, bedside table, poppers, albolene.
  3. Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
    See the list of things at arm’s reach in the previous question.
  4. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
    Are You Being Served?
  5. Without looking, guess what time it is
    11:25 PM
  6. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
    11:31 PM
  7. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
    My air conditioner is making a new sound tonight, AYBS is on in the background.
  8. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
    Yesterday. Went to lunch and then shopping with my friend Amy.
  9. Did you dream last night?
    Always. Every night. Woke me up early today, too.
  10. Do you remember your dreams?
    Usually. Nothing special last night.
  11. When did you last laugh?
    About 4 minutes ago, about Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy.
  12. Do you remember why / at what?
    Oops. I should have read ahead.
  13. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
    Idk. House stuff? Mirrors and photos. A shelf with the only plant I’ve ever kept alive.
  14. Seen anything weird lately?
    I just watched a video of a guy masturbating off of an overpass.
  15. What do you think of this quiz?
    So far? Medium good.
  16. What is the last film you saw?
    Galaxy Quest
  17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
    I already live there! It’s great! Second and third are Paris and London, respectively.
  18. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
    My moms’ home, so that they could both stop working.
  19. Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.
    I think spiders are horrifying and unnatural and I think if there’s a god, s/he thinks so too.
  20. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
    I would lessen the significance of gender across societies.  I’m tired of that being a problem.
  21. Do you like to dance?
    I used to. Sobriety ruined a lot of dancing for me. Have you ever tried to dance sober? It’s rough.
  22. Would you ever consider living abroad?
    I have done! And will do again.
  23. Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
    Thy Fabled Trowel, Lardy Elbow Theft, Wet Frothy Balled
  24. Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
    My mom on my personal phone. Client on my work phone.
  25. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
    An app called f.lux that changes the color of your screen according to the time of day and ambient lighting. Helps with eye strain when you stare at computers for lots of consecutive hours.
  26. Last time you swam in a pool?
    Ehhhhhhhh. Wow. Maybe two months ago? At the Russian Turkish Baths. I don’t swim a lot.
  27. Type of music you like most?
  28. Type of music you dislike most?
    Loud? I guess?
  29. Are you listening to music right now?
    Sort of.
  30. What color is your bedroom carpet?
    Hardwood floors, bb. It’s the Upper East Side!
  31. If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
    I would buy the apartment next to me so I could have all the front-facing windows that look onto the street.
  32. What was the last thing you bought?
    Dry shampoo
  33. Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
    Lol. A ‘motorbike?’ Yes.
  34. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
  35. Do you have a garden?
    Noooo. That seems relaxing but also like a lot of work.
  36. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
    I do! I’ve had to sing it!
  37. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
    It’s basically this, almost exactly.
  38. If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
    Britney Spears. I want to ask her if she’s happy.
  39. Who sent the last text message you received?
    My friend Tony.
  40. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
    The Harmon Face Values Store.
  41. What time is bed time?
  42. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
    I have not.
  43. How many tattoos do you have?
    Three? I think?
  44. If you don’t have any, have you ever thought of getting one?
    I’m thinking about getting another one. Does that count?
  45. What did you do for your last birthday?
    Work. Lunch with friends. I’m not a big birthday guy. It was just last week if you wanted to get me something, though. I am a big getting presents kind of guy.
  46. Do you carry a donor card?
    It says I’m a donor on my ID. Is that the same?
  47. Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
    A friend.
  48. Is the glass half empty or half full?
    Probably half empty. But you’ve still got half a glass of whatever it is, so it’s mostly fine.
  49. What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?
  50. When’s the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
    Whose home?
  51. Have you ever won a trophy?
    Yes! Though I suppose I’ll never have the one I really want: The Hookie Award. RIP.
  52. Are you a good cook?
    I’m a practical cook. I can do it, but I don’t love it.
  53. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
    It turns out I do! I had to on my last vacation!
  54. If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
    Touko Valio Laaksonen
  55. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
    In elementary school I did. Yep.
  56. Do you touch-type?
    Yes! I can even do it on iPhone. I’m very fancy.
  57. What’s under your bed?
    Oh man. Who knows. Old cockrings, empty lube bottles, bins of underwear I can’t bring myself to part with. Found a fork under there last week.
  58. Do you believe in love at first sight?
    Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmdepends on the dick.
  59. Think fast, what do you like right now?
  60. Where were you on Valentine’s day?
    I think I went to the movies? By myself?
  61. What time do you get up?
    Between 8-10. Really depends on when I went down.
  62. What was the name of your first pet?
  63. Who is the second to last person to call you?
    Two unknown numbers. I’m afraid of the phone so I def don’t pick up unknown numbers.
  64. Is there anything going on this weekend?
    It’s only Monday! I guess we’ll see!
  65. How are you feeling right now?
    I kind of have to pee.
  66. What do you think about the most?
    Sleeping. Coffee. What other guys’ penises probably look like.
  67. What time do you get up in the morning?
    Uhhh… Plz to scroll up to #61.
  68. If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
    I might never tell people.
  69. Who would you tell first?
    My best friend.
  70. What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
    Absolutely Fabulous
  71. Do you sing in the shower?
  72. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
    Come on! That’s the same answer as I gave on 40.
  73. What do you do most when you are bored?
    Probably twitter. Nap. Gym.
  74. What do you do for a living?
    Oh, you name it. Or if you don’t want to name it, I explain it pretty good here.
  75. Do you love your job?
  76. What did you want to be when you grew up?
    Singer or graphic designer for Broadway.
  77. If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
    I’m doing it. Maybe this and something else? But I don’t want something totally different.
  78. Which came first the chicken or the egg?
    This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how evolution works.
  79. How many keys on your key ring?
    Just four. Which is pretty slim compared to most New Yorkers I know.
  80. Where would you retire to?
    Boston, I think.
  81. What kind of car do you drive?
    I haven’t driven a car in almost ten years. Don’t tell anyone.
  82. What are your best physical features?
    The butt. The hair. My left eyebrow.
  83. What are your best characteristics?
    My ability to be very, very humble. I’m the best at it. Nobody is as humble as me.
  84. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
    I really want to go to Healthy Friction one year.
  85. What kind of books do you like to read?
    It’s pretty varied. I’m reading a book of Japanese short stories right now as well as Hillary Clinton’s Hard Choices.
  86. Where would you want to retire to?
    That one wasn’t even TEN questions ago! Wth!
  87. What is your favorite time of the day?
    6PM, the napping hour.
  88. Where did you grow up?
  89. How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
    About 1500 miles? Give or take?
  90. What are you reading now?
    Oh whoops. I overshared on 85. Those things.
  91. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
    I am NOT a morning person. Wow. Very not.
  92. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
    Alas, I cannot.
  93. Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
    Can everyone not do this?
  94. Do you have pets?
  95. How many rings before you answer the phone?
    All of them? I only call people back for the most part. I’m not a phone guy.
  96. What is your best childhood memory?
    Is it weird to say masturbating in my treehouse when I was like 10 or 11? Probably that. Especially the first time I came.
  97. What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
    Barista, Benetton Shill, Writer, Graphic Designer, Escort, American Apparel Manager
  98. Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?
  99. What is most important in life?
    Keeping myself balanced and checking in to see if I’m satisfied with the way things have played out for me.
  100. What Inspires You?



Oof! That was trickier than I remember. Did you learn something new about me? Did it motivate you to do the copy/paste and write your own? Link me! I’ll go read it!

Happy Monday!



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A) You should totally see the new ep one-off BBC aired this past weekend of Are You Being Served (one of my all-time fave shows, BTW, along with just about anything British). And now I’m totally looking forward to seeing the Ab-Fab movie. B) You should totally consider retiring to Portland OR. It’s very like NYC or Boston, but milder climate, less rain (despite our reputation for wet, we get less rain than anywhere in the NE, but when we get rain, we GET rain). PDX is also insanely sex & body positive, with an unbelievable food & arts scene.… Read more »

Portland is a great city

Rain City Jack (@raincityjack)

Odd, maybe, that I was most inspired to write about 21, all the things sobriety fucked up for me (thank gob) and all the myriad things that robbed me of the insane joy that dancing once was.

I heart your blog, Tyler.


You can’t dance sober?

This blog has a TON of super adulty stuff in it. You gotta be 18+ and into that (or at least be working on an incognito tab, bro).
Yeah, I'm 18
No, I'm under 18
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