21 Nov Gold ⭐ Star Masturbator: Proudbator
This is gonna end up being more of a love letter than an interview, but we’ll go ahead and tag it as one anyway.
I’ve been staring at this dude‘s dong for so long now that I actually don’t remember where I first came across it. It’s likely that tumblr was the culprit, as it’s been responsible for bringing a lot of awesome stuff into my life. But needless to say, Proudbator has become a permanent part of my bate bank (the bizarre, specific, and detailed list of stuff I click through while I’m jackin it) and I’m better for it.
I got the idea to hit him up for an interview while I was writing for Manhunt Daily. My goal was, upon the redesign of that site (which still hasn’t happened, even in my absence) to use it as a platform to introduce readers to independent content creators, in addition to the big membership studio productions that kept the lights on at Manhunt Daily HQ. For my money, the guys who are coming up with their own innovative adult brands and products are infinitely more interesting and sexy than whatever Next Door Studios is cranking out like sausages week after week. There’s so much more thought and personal attention that indie performers bring to the table (because they totally have to, in order to compete) and I think we’d all be doing better if we paid attention to those guys a bit more, and stuff like this a bit less.
Now, none of that is a dig against mainstream performers. Those guys work hard af, and are often a joy to watch. But the formula that every scene and film adheres to is exhausting. And unrelated to the sex that real people are having. It’s mostly even unrelated to the sex that those performers are having off set. So what’s the point?
Enter dudes like Proudbator, who work tirelessly to design, develop, and monetize their own brands. Now, setting aside his general hotness (oh my god you guys he is SO hot and that accent bones me up without even seeing him), his site, his logo, and indeed his entire world are so thoughtfully designed that I spent an embarrassing amount of time early on looking for a producing company’s copyright on his work. Because I assumed that a dude who was into whacking off wouldn’t probably have the desire or the wherewithal to invest this kind of effort in his final product. That he must be a brand ambassador for a larger adult company (the way Cody Cummings was for Next Door).
This dude is fuckin killin it, all by hisself. And I can’t get enough. If you are entirely unfamiliar with Proudbator, let me introduce you: he’s a solo performer, toy and product reviewer, and expert-level dong master who wants nothing more than for people to watch and join his masturbation. Plus he looks like this:
I mean. Seriously. GTFO with that. That’s more than I can deal with.
He produces high super res videos around themes or new toys and it really feels like a disservice to call him a cam performer. His site is all about well-lit and well-recorded videos, edited to remove the boring shit, and almost tailor-made to address fan desires or complaints. I’ve never seen a cam performer go to the trouble that this dude does to get it right, and I’m genuinely shocked that we’re not all talking about Proudbator.com all the damn time. I’m gonna try and correct that.
The man behind the bate agreed to answer some interview questions from me about 50 years ago and it’s taken me forever to get my shit together and actually write this post about it. So. SORRY BUDDY! You’re still amazing and I love you!
Gold ⭐ Star Masturbator Interview: Proudbator
I’d love to hear the origin story behind your site. Were you already doing cam shows and decided that running it your own way was a more efficient way to go? Or did you come up with it and start performing all in one go?
First of all, thanks for having the time to hear my stories. I first came up with the idea of having my own space on the Internet after having blog after blog removed because of either breaching some guidelines or just because they would not allow this or that in first place. So one day I thought, “you know what? It is time for me to take control over what I post, whatever the outcome might be.” I love bate community websites or having a profile at X-“such and such”. However, in order to keep a leash on users, which I fully understand, there are just too many rules to be followed. Sometimes or very often, they do not suit me (my dissatisfaction with community websites is often merely technical, such as how big the file should be (to me, 1080p is the minimum these days and 4k and 3d is probably the next natural step. When I get told that you can only upload 2 minutes I just freak out…So having my own space has opened all the doors I needed to express myself in finite ways, both technically and ‘batorly.’ I tell myself where the limit is.
I have never done live cam shows. However, I had two live Skype sessions many years ago and they were the worst experience I can recall. I remember hooking up to two mature “alpha male bators” who were busy telling me what to do on cam and as soon as they were done they simply shut the camera and vanished away, not a “Thank you, I have to go” or “Good bye, catch up later, dude…” I promised myself to never ever, ever, ever, do that again, so much so I every time I hear the word “Skype” I have the chills. I felt worthless and it all hit the wrong buttons. If running my own shows is more efficient? Hell yes. It is a very satisfying way to go if you know what you are doing and where you want to go.
You mention in the about on your site that you became acquainted with a variety of penis toys from an “early age.” How young are we talking here? When did you first start whackin it?
LOL, I have actually changed that detail since I read this question, to avoid confusion, what I meant to say is that I became familiar with rings and XXX toys from mid teen years, 13, 15 if I recall well. I started bating very early on, I have no idea how old I was, but I had a great team of bators of my age group and we would bate a lot since early on, like most boys out there did too.
One of the things that I’m most drawn to about your whole schtick is that you don’t do any “naughty” or “dirty” talk in your presentation. The “proud” part of your moniker is really prominent that way. Nothing is presented as secretive, salacious, or bad, but instead as interesting and fun. What spurs that angle for you, instead of the much simpler “secret/dirty/naughty” angle that so much porn and cam work is angled at?
I speak a lot of dirty stuff in my videos and swear a great deal too, but I see where you are getting at with the “secretive” or “naughty” talk. I like to think about what I’m doing as the ‘normalisation of bating,’ so being secretive or quiet, or forcedly naughty (like screaming etc) is a no-go for me, it can come across as a “put on show.” I like bating and speaking out what its happening to my dick, how I feel this or that and I give tons of tips while I’m bating. I also swear a great deal, but I find the mainstream excessive moaning and the very secretive or quiet bate to be boring. So I naturally try to fill that gap by bringing something more natural while less predictable to my body of work. I don’t like being predictable.
Is it fair to call what you do “porn,” properly? It almost seems like something a little more elevated. (I tend to think of Bateworld and the videos those guys make as being some other thing than the homebrew “porn” one tends finds on xtube). Speaking of Bateworld, what’s the response been like on there to what you do? I bet you get tons of messages and friend requests.
This is a very tricky question indeed. Although it is all about sexual activities on camera, I don’t actually think I would be considered a porn actor per se because I am not acting in any way. I like to think of what I do as some variation of “masturbation entrepreneuring” if that can actually exist. I find it rather strange when people call me a porn actor or porn star. Maybe the “Bator” or “Solo online Exhibitionism Act” nomenclatures would be so much better to describe people like me than just porn. I personally think of “porn” the industry itself but maybe that is where I belong after all, in terms of categories. Bateworld is amazing, everyone there is so nice to me and the messages are always so encouraging and personal, I get tons of personal private emails with stories on how I have helped them enjoy their own bodies again and so on. I feel like I’m helping a lot of guys to feel less ashamed to admit they like to masturbate too. I don’t think I’m well known there though, I don’t think I’m well known at all, I often hear the “I only now came across your stuff” from new comers.
I’m a sucker for great branding, and yours is really top shelf. Your colors, logos, watermarking, and site design are all super consistent and thoughtful. You have some marketing/design training in there? Or are you just successfully winging it as you go along?
Thank you so much. I do give a lot of thought into the branding side of what I do, you spotted that well. That is why I think the most offensive thing someone can do to you is to crop your credits out (watermarks, captions etc) and re-blog you as another random dude. Whoever does that should be in jail, full stop. I believe, and I want hope I am correct, I use common sense when it comes to branding: “be consistent, build a unifying brand cross-platforms, not a mish mash of colours and shapes”. I love black and that mid-tone blue represents me really well, so those are my two official colours and I take them everywhere I go. But that said, I do have formal training on both branding and website development, systems security and so on, it goes much deeper than you may think, but I wont go into details. I am probably one of the better-qualified persons, technically speaking, to run my own shows than most aspiring bators out there, as they may have the dicks and the looks but probably lack the known-how.
Why the choice to do extended, downloadable videos instead of traditional cam show performances?
Great question, I love it. Live shows are so much easier, you sit there, do your thing and once you’re done you can walk away and do other things. However, it can be 1. an emotionally draining thing if you don’t like being told what to do in order to get what you want (often financial help, satisfaction, or ultimately an ego boost). I don’t think I would be happy if I had to do THIS or THAT to get the attention or money. I would probably be very depressed by now if I had to sit there and wait for commands (like many people do on live cam sites). 2. Having live cameras running from servers can be quite an expensive business. It requires a ton of bandwidth and specific gear in the back-bone of the website. Websites like Chaturbate for example, I am quite sure it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars if not millions to maintain. Looks really easy and simple to do, from a bators perspective, but it is very expensive to run, You can be sure there is an entire office with full time staff working 24/7 on sites like that.
The Upload, weekly hour-long HD video system (which is similar to most porn websites out there) gives me full control over what I will present and how I will do so. I can also review my stuff before I post and if there is something I’m not entirely happy about, I will just cut it off the final product, such as important phone calls in the middle of a session, or the odd person knocking at the door at the wrong time. The most awesome part of offline recorded videos is that no one is telling me how I should do anything, so it forces me to be creative and relaxed. I also love the postproduction part, working on Final cut, adding titles, (licensed) songs etc is something I would most definitely do as a full time job if I were given the opportunity. That is why I post “behind-the-scenes” images of me editing my videos. I understand people looking at it may overlook, but THAT is the moment when I am truly happy and working on something I have full control over.
There’s a lotta NYC going on in your hat collection it looks like (especially if you watch a lot of the videos in a row). Just a coincidence? Or are you really a Brooklyn Nets fan?
My head is very small and finding hats that fit me is almost impossible. I wear whatever I believe fits me and looks nice on me. I would love to go to NY one day (what a dream!) but unfortunately the hats branding is a mere coincidence. Obviously there is a little bias here and there (I would not buy a hat with certain words), but the aesthetics is what counts when it comes to hats for me.
You look pretty fit (in addition to just being hot in general) – what’s your workout like? Just a lotta bone pounding? And then a lot of stretching exercises (dude you’re SO close to getting that thing in your mouth!)?
Wow that is a surprise! I am not fit at all LOL! I envy those fit guys so much but I am just too lazy to do gym stuff. I should actually. I do run and do mild weight lifting but I am not serious about it. Need to work that tummy urgently too.
Yes, I am so close to self-sucking. About 5 cm now. This is my ultimate goal, my number one obsession and dream, it has always been. When I watch self-sucking guys cum on their mouths and let it dribble out their lips, I cum in 2 minutes, literally. On the other hand, I also find face-fuck videos, with some gagging and deep-throat material very appealing to me but self-sucking is the apex of it all.
Do you have a work life outside of the site? Forgive me if you’ve ever mentioned that previously and I just didn’t’ notice. I have no idea what job I’d guess you did.
I do have a work outside the website project, but I won’t go into details just for the sake of privacy. Nothing to hide, just better keep this private.
There’s way more emphasis put on what you’re doing on your site, versus how you look. Compared to most other solo-performer sites (which tend to be focused exclusively on someone’s physicality, how hot they are, and convincing everyone that they’re very sexy). How do you account for that? Is that just you being in a good place ego-wise?
Indeed there is emphasis on what I do, rather than just looking pretty. From what I am used to seeing around, particularly on the professional porn arena, all you need is to look fit, you don’t need to think, just look hot, so often they appear to be disconnected from the real world, with real people. It is a very delicate thing to discuss but I always look at the personality first, that spark in the eyes, that something extra which has very little to do with body type, cock size or musculature.
Unfortunately for most people out there, appearance is the only thing that matters and as such I would never break into a market where you need to look in certain ways. “Just look hot” is definitely something that I can’t offer, because I am just like any other dude out there. When I came into the bate arena, I never tried to look anything other than the real me. This is what you see, this is what you will get. And lucky me, there are people who like my type of guy. Obviously there is some insecurity, I remember deleting tons of hours of footage because I did not think I was looking my best. I think ego-wise I am in my good place now. That is why I make sure people have a very good look at my flaws and me before signing up (hence my tons of free GIFs and images on social media). I had one dude this year that approached me to say that he wished he had seen me speaking before he would sign up. Obviously he was part of that crowd who only care for someone’s look, nothing else. I think it was a little brutal, but I have to remember that, again, for some people all that matters is physical perfection and that is absolutely not what I offer.
What is this site like for your ego? Is it hard to deal with criticism or is most of your feedback positive?
It is such a boost, but I have my feet on the ground, I always remind myself that today I may be cool but tomorrow I may be irrelevant. I don’t think I would ever even compare myself to the professional material of mainstream porn. I try to keep it real. That said, I know I am in a category of my own, so it gives me the confidence I need to keep going. I’m not competing with anyone, I am not trying to look like this or that or fit in with the other stuff that is online today. When you don’t have much like that available, you learn to make your own standards; it’s a fairly new territory (there are others like me who started much earlier) so I will just try to do my best to leave a nice legacy to newcomers. Often, I think it is almost impossible to believe I have come this far. All feedback is very encouraging and positive, people seem to be genuinely interested in what I do, bar the one mentioned a few lines before. Because I look for a genuine audience, I have had a few issues with social media, particularly Instagram where I suddenly found myself being followed by teenagers and moms, who seemed very busy flagging my images as inappropriate. The new account, I hope, is for people who are genuinely interested in ME. So far I have a few followers and it looks like it will remain like that.
I find it difficult to explain to some people the place in my life that masturbation occupies. And many people see it as a substitute for intercourse, regardless of whether they’re gay, straight, or something else. What are your thoughts on masturbation as sex? How long have you felt that way about it?
I find it difficult to explain to people too, since the definition of SEX is very fluid. If I need to penetrate other people to consider it sex, then masturbation has probably been a replacement for it. I think that we need to know ourselves first and then move on to having sex with others, whatever sex may be for them.
To me, having a masturbation session with another person is a form of sex in itself as long as there is a connection between the people involved at the time (the ‘connection itself’ to me is what sex means, not whether there is a dick inside something). That is why, for example, I’ve moved away from watching penetrative sex. There seems to be a disconnection between the people involved. One has his / her eyes shut; the other person is looking away. Like what the actual fuck? Shouldn’t they be looking at each other or interacting? If I’m going to have sex with another person and do not interact mentally, I’d rather be on my own and enjoy the best of me, thank you very much. I have felt this way for a long time.
Most of my adult life has been “solo sex” and I am very happy about it.
Are you a social masturbator? Aside from your videos and performance, do you have friends that you can really get weird on penis with? Or groups that get together near where you live?
Yes! I do have friends to bate with and it is awesome, but unfortunately it seems like all of them are camera-shy or footage should be for personal private use only.
Have you ever done a duet or group video? Any interest in that?
Yes I have done a ton of duo bate videos but again, because my fellow bators were not happy to be exposed like I am, the content is no longer available. I will proceed solo, it seems. I have huge plans for group bates, this is where I want to head to, so let’s see where things will go. I am yet to find bators like me in New Zealand. The only one I know of, who does similar things I do, is not interested in working together once or ever. I don’t want to lean towards ‘gay sex’ in what I do either.
I like bonding, group masturbation and male stuff, I mean man’s stuff, you know what I mean? I suppose most people don’t actually want the same thing I do, the general male audience seems to want bang-bang, men fucking man, men sucking men, men cuming on men’s ass. If two men are together in a video, the public expectation is that one has to be a bottom, the other a top, and that is such a cliché in porn today, come on there has to be something more fluid than that, and I really try to stay clear of those binaries. I want to move away from that, want to create something manly and exciting, something that does not damage anyone’s male ego or sexual identity or sexual preferences. I want men enjoying masturbation and their own bodies, full stop.
I’d love to know how pervasive your bate gets in your day to day life. I live alone so I’m kind of just in the habit of jackin it whenever and wherever I am at home.
If I’m making dinner or something and suddenly remember I have a penis, I can easily get pulled into cooking and penising just as a casual part of the evening. I can picture you behaving similarly – just wandering around your house in just a t-shirt and rubbing your dick whenever you felt like it. Is that far off? Or are you really saving that up for your videos?
I am very similar to you, whenever I remember my dick, I’m certainly going to be beating it off. Bating plays a relatively important part in my life. I will do it as often as I feel like it, on or off camera. I do have specific schedules for my video productions as I share the house with other mates, so the answer is I bate whenever I feel like it during the week and also record my videos in the meantime.
You tend to do multiple cumshots per video. What’s your take on the real long-term (multiple days long) edging that some guys get into?
Not really, I usually bate everyday so there is no saving mostly. Sometimes due a busy weekend for example, I have 2 days worth of cum in store but I suppose I produce heaps of cum naturally. I am definitely not the kind of guy who will save up several days worth of cum to be able to cum more.
Your videos are really thoughtful and personal. Even though you’re clearly often sitting there with a massive erection and talking about masturbation, it’s somehow very ‘matter of fact.’ Even when there’s toys and poppers and stuff being used and discussed. Especially in your most recent clips you don’t have any hesitations or nervousness or over-performing. How do you keep things so genuine?
Keeping it real has been my number one priority. I try, sometimes the odd “mechanic bator” with minor acting but I make the rules upfront, making sure all viewers know I’m having fun with something outside my comfort zone. Keeping it candid is how I have always been, so I don’t even consider doing something that is not really my thing. I have recently being approached by numerous people to have some feet fetish material, I gave it a go, it was a very interesting experience but I don’t want to have that become the focus of what I am all about, plus it would frustrate people as feet is not something I want to be known by.
I’m a bator, so the focus will always be my masturbation acts, and my dick.
It seems like the urge to really lay it on thick and do loud, yelling cumshots and stuff would be tempting, and you really give the impression that this is what masturbating with you would just BE like. If you were gonna give advice to someone who was starting out doing cam shows, what would you say are the three things that most people do badly on cam?
Yes indeed, the loud part is very tempting! I don’t do it, mostly because I live in a very busy, family-driven area so I do my best not to be a nuisance. It would not be fair on other people and I think that the worst porn that there is, is the unsolicited porn. That is why I do not engage with public exposure, no one is asking to see me masturbating, why would I force it upon anyone? To me, masturbation is a very mind opening way to communicate my sexuality, so I try to keep it super real, super personal too, without all the screaming. If I will become louder with time? Maybe. Only if it happens naturally.
The advice I give is, be yourself. Otherwise, it will come out sooner or later. Also remember that once out there, it is forever. The three things I personally think are bad on camera and happen way too often are:
1. If you are serious about going on cam, why are you hiding your face? Does that dick go by itself on wheels? Is there a person attached to it? Don’t go on camera if you are not prepared to be on camera. Close-up cock videos/images are reductive. I will leave it at that.
2. Those silent secretive videos are just too awkward to watch. I’ve been there and looking back now I find it rather dreadful. What’s wrong with saying something here and there? The language sign is cool if you are mute, but if you are on camera for fuck sakes use your mouth not a keyboard or language signs.
3. “Gone too soon”. This is one of the worst things dudes do on camera and it happens way too often. If you don’t know what I mean, just go on tumblr, Xtube and any other website with amateur material. The guy cums and within 2 seconds he is gone. We are then forced to rewind the video to be able to cum along at that right time before he vanished. What is wrong with cuming and waiting a little bit for your audience to have time to cum watching you? That is when I realize people do have a problem with being on camera. The impression I have is that once they cum, there is a great sense of shame and regret.
I find your whole presentation to be such a turn on, and you being adorable with that deep sexy voice really amps that up. Why do you think there aren’t tons of guys doing what you’re doing, the way you’re doing it?
Thanks! I am not entirely sure why there aren’t many people doing it, maybe main stream porn is what people are used to. However, there is a growing number of people going nude online, which is cool. They just have to polish their acts a little, which may take time.
How has where you live affected what you do and how you do it? Would your site be different if you were in the US or UK?
It is really difficult to tell if it would have been different, as I have not experienced living in those places. But I suppose isolation has made me who I am. I imagine things would have gone different ways if I were in America for example where most porn companies are. Who knows where I would have ended up? I think that being outside the main centres where porn really happens have allowed me to build a very neutral and yet distinct name for myself.
Have you given any thought to coaching or professional work with guys – teaching them how to really connect with their penises and to treat their masturbation as something significant instead of something shameful?
Nope, I haven’t given any thought about coaching people, but I would most definitely have something like a bate-camp reality show where I train everyone to bate, all on camera, of course. I’ve seen something like that, but as usual it all ends in fucking scenes, with dudes moaning with baby talk, “fuck me fuck me”. It all falls apart, at least in my opinion. There is no consistency.
You clearly had Proudbator.com shirts made at some point and where do I go to order one?
Man! That was an idea by a mate in Canada, Mark, who runs bringmemyshirt.tumblr.com, he was the one who made my t-shirts and sent them all the way from Canada so I could use them in my videos. I later changed the design to the square one with black and blue logos and made the prints myself. I should actually teach everyone how to do it themselves as sending items overseas can be very costly.
When I got this dude’s answers back from him, I couldn’t believe how much more attracted to him I was. Or how thorough and thoughtful he’d been in his responses. I think thoughtful might be the word I use more than anything else in my questions and descriptions of what Proudbator does, and I think that might be the biggest turn on for me.
You can see in his language, why he appeals to my sensibilities and my sexual worldview. Whole swaths of what he’s said could have been taken, verbatim, from things I’ve written or talked about with other masturbators. I’ve never known anyone who really gets it quite the way this guy does, and I think if he lived in the states, I’d be tryin real hard to get a ring on this dude. I may try anyway.
I highly, HIGHLY encourage you to check out this guy’s site, and if he appeals to you in the slightest, to send him a couple bucks for membership. His content is the best out there (I’ve seen everything. Take my word), and he’s hardly a fly-by-night site designed to grab your dough – dude’s been at it for years.
I can pretty much promise this isn’t the last I’ll be saying about Proudbator here, as I remain completely enamored of his genuine pride in who he is as a man, in his penis, and in his sexuality. He’s the genuine article.
This bro is a beacon for the shame-free, sex-positive life we should all be tryina live.