GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

Be Your Own Valentine This Year (+ GIFs!)

Because it’s a terrible holiday that makes everyone who’s not having a deep and meaningful relationship feel badly about that fact. 


 

I, for one, am having a deep and meaningful relationship with my own boner this year. And you should too. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, 2017, I’m sharing the top best ideas from possible Skynet porn machine Fleshbot Gay’s 27 Places to Jack Off.

I still don’t know what Fleshbot Gay is, who runs it, or why their twitter is so sad, but they did come up with a good collection of gifs. These are the best of that lot:

Places To Jack Off

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

At the library!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

In the living room with your friend!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

In the living room with all your friends!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

Speeding down the highway!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

On the train!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

With your dad!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

Next to the Pool in Central Park!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

Anywhere with a view!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

Down on the farm!

 

GIF, Jack Off, Public, Cum, Boner, Huge, Shot, Caught, Masturbate, Male

On cam (to share with your friends)!

 

This year, take your penis out for a nice time, instead of being bummed out that you don’t have that mandatory special someone. It’s not a real holiday after all, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grease up the dong, popper up, tumblr down, and get a couple nutts out before the day is over.  Don’t let society tell you who gotta bone. Bone your own self!

 

Happy Valentine’s Day from my Penis to yours. <3

 

 

-t

 

 

Header GIF, courtesy of Bate Spread. Who I would also very much like to be my Valentine.

 

 

 

 


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Unless you work at a dick factory, literally nothing on this blog is safe for work. So heads up: you’re gonna see penises, butts, general nudity, depictions of sexual interactions, and me saying words like dong, cock, wang, peenor, peen, jizz, bust, bate, fuck, stroke, and ballback, ad nauseam.



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Please Read All Further Blog Posts With A Posh Accent, as I've made it to London and I think this is home.    Hard to believe we took a whole...

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