14 Feb Be Your Own Valentine This Year (+ GIFs!)
Because it’s a terrible holiday that makes everyone who’s not having a deep and meaningful relationship feel badly about that fact.
I, for one, am having a deep and meaningful relationship with my own boner this year. And you should too. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, 2017, I’m sharing the top best ideas from possible Skynet porn machine Fleshbot Gay’s 27 Places to Jack Off.
I still don’t know what Fleshbot Gay is, who runs it, or why their twitter is so sad, but they did come up with a good collection of gifs. These are the best of that lot:
Places To Jack Off
At the library!
In the living room with your friend!
In the living room with all your friends!
Speeding down the highway!
On the train!
With your dad!
Next to the Pool in Central Park!
Anywhere with a view!
Down on the farm!
On cam (to share with your friends)!
This year, take your penis out for a nice time, instead of being bummed out that you don’t have that mandatory special someone. It’s not a real holiday after all, but that doesn’t mean you can’t grease up the dong, popper up, tumblr down, and get a couple nutts out before the day is over. Don’t let society tell you who gotta bone. Bone your own self!
Happy Valentine’s Day from my Penis to yours. <3
Header GIF, courtesy of Bate Spread. Who I would also very much like to be my Valentine.
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