01 Jun Helicopter Penis: Pull a Helicopter With Your Penis!
Because, hey! Why the fuck not!
Oh, blessed google alerts. You bring so much into my world. Just this week, for instance:
Tai Chi ‘master’ pulls helicopter along with only his penis, breaking ‘world record’
OH! Lots to unpack there. Both “master” and ” world record” in scare quotes. But “helicopter” and “penis” are not! I see.
The whole article has a very ‘allegedly’ feel to it, but let’s dive in anyway:
WATCH: Tai Chi ‘master’ pulls helicopter along with only his penis, breaking ‘world record’
A Chinese kung fu “master” has succeeded in dragging a helicopter more than 10 meters using only the power of his penis, managing to break a “world record,” but not his cock in the process.
In a video recorded to catalog this historic feat for future generations, a foreign female “judge” is seen reading out the rules of the challenge as 39-year-old Ye Hongwei ties a rope around his wiener. Then, a crowd gathers around to watch with cell phone cameras at the ready as Ye slowly but surely begins to walk backward, pulling the 5-ton military helicopter forward outside of a hanger on the outskirts of Beijing.
While Ye only needed to drag the chopper 8 meters for the “world record,” he continues on for a few more paces, finally stopping after he hauled the helicopter over 10 meters. Afterward, Ye took a deep breath to realign his
Read more and watch the video at Shanghaiist (you don’t see any wang, though. So… at your own discretion)
Listen. One should never underestimate the value of having goals. That’s how you add meaning to your life. Even though Ye doesn’t look super jazzed at any stage of this ‘feat.’
I know I don’t wanna pull any large-scale machinery with my penis, but it’s comforting to know that somewhere in the world, somebody does.
For now, I’ll stick to just regular ‘ol cock pushups.