Alexandre Gaúcho, Alexander Gaucho, Soccer, Football, Footballer, Naked, Nude, Erect, Masturbating, Jacking Off, Video, Penis, Cock, Uncut, Uncircumcised, Brazilian, Sexy

Brazilian Footballer Alexandre Gaúcho, Naked, Hard, and Jackin’ It

I don’t even know what to say about this. 


A thing I mostly live oblivious to is the fact that, as an American, I assume that whatever happens here – culturally, societally, sexually – must be either as good as or better than whatever happens other places in the world. There’s a mentality that’s indoctrinated into you as an American youth that this country is “on top,” regardless of the given situation.

When I talk about my wishes for men to embrace their bodies and their penises and their sexuality in ways that celebrate their specialness and significance without shame, what I imagine is that American men must be the MOST able to do this and that other places must WISH they could be as liberated as we are.

Way to go, Brazil. Way to fuck up all the things I casually and unconsciously think I know.

Alexandre Gaúcho was (he’s still alive, he’s just not soccering anymore) a Brazilian born professional soccer player (footballer) who, all the way back in 2005, posed for a then-prominent gay mens magazine called G Magazine.

Here’s a couple of things to think about while you look at his D&B down below: He’s not gay. And hadn’t done porn. And didn’t do any porn after this either. Yet the magazine features a photo spread of Gaúcho fully nude, erect, and masturbating while he goes about his soccer things. He showers in the locker room, sprinkles his feet with powder, runs around the field, and climbs the net. All without clothes or even the faintest visible idea that he should be in anyway disguising or hiding any part of his body.

It’s fucking incredible.



G Magazine had a history of being essentially Playboy for gay men (at their peak, they enjoyed about 1/2 of the distribution numbers of actual Playboy. Shocking and impressive for any magazine, let alone one aimed solely at gay men), featuring male performers and sports stars of all sorts, regardless of their orientation or sexual preferences. In their last years they even produced online content including blogs and videos. One of these videos was produced for Alexandre Gaúcho, and has found its way onto porn tube sites since G Mag’s demise:



I cannot fathom a world in which American sports stars not only got fully nude for a publication aimed strictly at gay men, but proceeded to masturbate and smile while they did it. It blows my mind to think of  Tom Brady, or Michael Phelps, or Eli Manning engaging in a similar video/photo spread, showing all the world all they have.

But then I’d bet money that not one of them has a penis as gorgeous as this Gaúcho’s:


Alexandre Gaúcho, Alexander Gaucho, Soccer, Football, Footballer, Naked, Nude, Erect, Masturbating, Jacking Off, Video, Penis, Cock, Uncut, Uncircumcised, Brazilian, Sexy


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Tyler Dårlig Ulv (@tylerthebadwolf)

As promised: I’m completely fascinated with the context for these photos. He’s a straight, (and famous) sports star:



Unless you work at a dick factory, literally nothing on this blog is safe for work. So heads up: you’re gonna see penises, butts, general nudity, depictions of sexual interactions, and me saying words like dong, cock, wang, peenor, peen, jizz, bust, bate, fuck, stroke, and ballback, ad nauseam.

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