12 Feb Monday Masturbators: Literal Edition – The Doc Johnson MOOD Exciter Review
Looks like a dog toy, makes you bust like a high schooler.
Full Disclosure: I did not receive any compensation or free stuff in exchange for this review. I just really like this thing and thought you should know about it, in case you also like buying stuff into which you can put your penis. You can read about my Advertising policies here.
Welcome to Monday! I thought we’d do something different this week and talk about an actual masturbator instead of what we normally do with taking some guy jacking off and overanalyze the crap out of what’s happening.
I’ve talked about a couple different jack toys on here previously; there was this one about Beau Banks and his Fleshlight Turbo, and this other one about the best things Groupon doesn’t want you to know they sell. I’m sure there’s more too. You’ll have to poke around.
This round though, I want to talk about the Doc Johnson MOOD Exciter Stroker.
Let’s start with that title.
I have something of a love/hate relationship with Doc Johnson products generally. I think they’re strangely marketed (towards straight people and primarily towards heterosexual men, is the best I can guess), and while they are something like the Starbucks of fuck toys, they aren’t always super-well made or thoughtfully presented. What I mean is that, historically, it’s been a crapshoot for me when I’m buying their stuff. Sometimes = great, sometimes = other.
The MOOD Exciter Stroker falls into the ‘great’ box, so you should definitely be aware of it. But I mentioned all that stuff about the Doc because, in marketing towards heterosexual men, they seem to take a really delicate approach (sort of a “don’t say penis/cock/dick/dong cause guys will think it’s a GAY THING” tack). Calling this thing an “exciter” or “stroker” is… fine? I guess? But if you aren’t going to create your own noun (like Fleshlight/Fleshjack did), then that shit is a masturbator. Seriously. Call a spade a masturbator. Print the word on the box and stop pretending as though it were naughty or deviant.
But I digress.
The MOOD Exciter is essentially a palm-sized Kuchi Kopi knock off that has a hole running down the center of (which is where your penis goes). If you’re a dog owner, you might also recognize the shape as the famous KONG toys that dogs love to chew on. And while I don’t recommend trying to fuck a hard rubber KONG (or letting your dog get a hold of the MOOD), the Exciter is a soft and gentle experience for your sensitive bits.
As I mentioned in the Groupon masturbator story, I’m an aggressive jacker, and my doctor suggested that the answer might be putting something between my grippy little fist and my poor, overworked erection. So I’m always glad to have a new toy in this particular category. And the MOOD is a great addition. It’s a solid piece of ULTRASKYN (a brand name for TPE or thermoplastic elastomer, which, if you’re familiar with Cyberskin or any of the imitators, will be nothing new for you) with a textured channel running all the way through the core.
I hadn’t realized until I started researching this post that it’s meant to be used from both ends, and that they offer different sensations, but allegedly that is the case. Chalk that up to my overexcitement at having a new toy to play with (myself).
And that’s really all there is to it. It’s incredibly simple, which is one of its main selling points. While I love my Fleshlights, and even my Groupon masturbators, the hassle of having to clean them after I’ve filled them is sometimes more than I can stand. I’m not proud to tell you that sometimes they end up in the bathroom sink (or under my desk) until morning. Having to unscrew things and pull out a rubber sleeve that’s completely drowned in me and then soap and dry those parts is… eh. I’m sleepy just imagining it.
The MOOD takes 3.5 seconds to rinse out and hang in the shower to dry. It even comes with a sample pack of Doc Johnson brand Powder of Life, which you ought to use to return the outer texture to its original, smooth state. Or if you have cornstarch in your house, that works too (since that’s 100% of the listed ingredients).
What I love most about the MOOD Exciter (and this is going to sound stupid, but is a real thing that I’ve thought about a LOT when I’m using my other toys, is that I can pour more lube into that other open end (sloshing it all over the top of my penis), any time I want, since it doesn’t have a case or a lid. On top of that, when I cum, I can cram that thing all the way down my dick and spurt just like I would if I were going hand-solo.
As a very personal addendum, I’m also thrilled that thing isn’t pretending to be a vagina or a butthole or Brent Corrigan’s Mouth. I think it’s fantastically strange that human men need still to imagine they’re somehow penetrating a tiny rubber Wonder Woman vagina when they masturbate, instead of being tuned into their own dongs well enough to enjoy the sensation without the story. Masturbation is about learning your self and your body. It isn’t a substitute for penetrative sex. It is sex.
I admire the designer of this particular toy for keeping those of us who are just here for penising (and not trying to replace or replicate intercourse) in mind with the Doc Johnson MOOD Exciter.
Be your own Valentine this year and get yourself one of these little fuckers. If you’ve got Amazon Prime, it’s $12.71 right now and ships for free. Do it before midnight, and have it ready for your ?Penis Valentine? on Wednesday.
If you’re a better person that I am and choose not to shop with Amazon, you can find it direct from Doc Johnson here.
And if you work for Doc Johnson and you wanna chat, I’ve got SO MANY IDEAS. Email me?