22 Feb “How To Buy A Jockstrap” via WikiHow
Oh, WikiHow. Is there anything you don’t know how to WikiDo?
If you don’t own an actual jockstrap (what? Why not?), then Wikihow – that infallible guide to the universe that previously brought us How to Wash Your Penis, amongst many other wonderful bits of advice – has some tips on how to get you one.
While a lot of this is pure comedy gold (including that clipboard-toting sales person lurking around the jockstrap aisle, giving young shoppers too many thumbs up), there’s something reassuring that young people can actually find practical, non-sarcastic, literal advice on the internet about why they should own a jock, and what its real function is. That’s cool.
Even more than that, the always-sensitive-to-your-needs Wikihow implores you to care for your feels first by suggesting that it’s ok to be a little scared:
“If you feel nervous or self-conscious purchasing this garment in person, you may want to purchase one online. However, many men wear jockstraps both for athletic and style purposes. You don’t need to feel shy about inquiring about this article of clothing.”
How To Buy A Jockstrap
Text and Illustrations via WikiHow
Jockstraps are typically worn by males participating in sports, athletics, or other vigorous activities. This undergarment provides support by holding the penis, testicles, and scrotum close to the body, protecting these sensitive parts from harm. What’s more, many jocks have a pouch where you can insert a protective cup to further protect your genitals from direct blows. To ensure you purchase the right jockstrap, you should familiarize yourself with the different styles of jock and cup. After that, you can make use of techniques to improve the protection, comfort, and support of your jockstrap.
Search for a jockstrap from a physical store. Most sports, sporting goods, and athletics stores will carry jockstraps. You’ll also likely be able to find this garment in the athletics section of most general clothing retailers, like Kohl’s, Target, Walmart, and so on.
Buying from a physical store gives you a chance to evaluate the fabric and size. As the jockstrap cradles your genitals, comfort and a good fit are important.
At physical stores, you’ll also be able to ask questions to store representatives who will likely be able to help steer you in the right direction.
If you feel nervous or self-conscious purchasing this garment in person, you may want to purchase one online. However, many men wear jockstraps both for athletic and style purposes. You don’t need to feel shy about inquiring about this article of clothing.
You can read the rest of WikiHow’s guide to buying a jockstrap here (and believe it or not, there’s almost as many steps in this instructable as there are in AA – we’ve just scratched the surface). And if you’re ready to buy, I highly recommend JockstrapCentral for all your treasure-strapping needs. They have an unbelievable-bordering-on-ridiculous selection and are not super expensive.
I’m back (did you miss me?). I left my phone at home this week on an impromptu trip to Baltimore, and try as I might, there’s no way to post to IG without it ?. But we’re reunited now and I wanted to share this favourite #jockstrap shot by @brunchstore. – Photo by @brunchstore | Hair/Skin by @jaceylights | #Jock by #Golberg #AthleticSupporters
Also, that header image is by the perversely talented Butch Dick. You can see more of his work and buy stuff for your home featuring hairy butts and stuff here.