08 Nov #ThursdayThots – 5 Instagram Dudes That Will Improve Your Feed
Thoughtful Thots are a boon to everyone’s Gram Life.
If you’ve been following along with my yellings on Twitter (or, really just been within earshot of me in the past few weeks), you might know I’ve had a complicated relationship with Instagram of late. I’ve had random stalkers, folks asking which apartment was mine (with a photo of the front of my building), people impersonating me and trying to extort followers for a cam show I was never going to be part of. It’s been real cute.
But – those things aside – IG does bring a handful of good things into my world too. The guys I refer to as my thoughtful thots; they’re cleverer than your average shiny muscle guys pandering for your likes, have interesting things to say, AND they let you see almost all the good stuff. It’s the best of all possible worlds really.
Here’s some of my favs:
Tbh, I don’t know what Phil actually does to make money (singing? porn? door-to-door thong salesman? Jobs are a tough thing to parse out on most instagram accounts, really), but it’s probably not because he hasn’t said it. He’s a prolific poster and I never make it through all his story posts before they vanish. But also because he’s basically naked about 400% of the time, and so I get distracted by bulges and meaty pecs and pierced hershy’s kiss nips:
Sam doesn’t need any help from my little blog garnering new followers. He’s doing just fine. But this is less about him, and more what he will do to improve your life. I am in dire need of a word like “hangry” that combines the various ways I feel about what he does on here. Some shocking portmanteau of aroused and confused and envious and fascinated. Arouconfuviousinated. I don’t know.
His body confidence and desirability are almost palpable in his photos, and his penis is – frankly – stunning. I know because it stunned me.
I’m thiiiiiiiiis close to sending him money for porn. Like… tonight might be the night.
Paul, our header model up there, is one of those rare people you sometimes encounter in life to whom nothing ever needs to be explained. Not thongs or penises or buttholes or emotional maturity or instagram ego or the importance of a prominent genital bulge. And you spend all this time and energy over-elaborating things in text messages and he just replies “yeah duh.”
And his ass is just gd magnificent:
It almost doesn’t feel right to include Mike on this list, but I can’t make a separate post of Instagram muscle dads I want to motorboat until my face melts off. Or, I mean I guess I could, but he’s going on this list instead. This guy is just BEYOND hot, and his leg-spready, bulge-showy, pec-flexy pics are often acknowledged verbally by me, before I’m able to double tap. It’s not smart sounding either. It’s usually something along the lines of “BUGGHhhhhhhhH!” followed by me desperately trying to zoom and enhance for dick print.
This guy is gorgeous. I want to lick him.
Kit’s dick is bigger than yours. It’s one of those fun statements you can make with relative certainty (like the sun is probably coming out tomorrow), even if you don’t know the size of the dick on the guy you’re talking to. I wish there was some way for me to just gently nuzzle this bulge king’s (always well attired) dong every day for a few moments. Just to feel it swell up a little bit and be warm pressed against the side of my face. Like a moment of penis zen.
Kit’s penis pride shines through everything he posts and says like a laser beam and I’ve admired the shit outta this guy for a long time.
He’s also a super sweet dude, too. So, with both hands, God (and Andrew Christian) gave to Kit:
Also, I guess, follow me. But definitely check out those guys. They are guaranteed to bring some life and thoughtfulness into your TL.